Living Dead Man
by What-usernames-aren't-taken
Summary: Dean and Castiel are survivors in the zombie apocalypse. The two had gone on a simple scavenger trip to gather some supplies for the rest of their group. Then everything goes wrong, they slip up and the zombies find them. Destiel, angst. T just to be safe. Language warning.


**Summary: Dean and Castiel are survivors in the zombie apocalypse. The two had gone on a simple scavenger trip to gather some supplies for the rest of their group. Then everything goes wrong, they slip up and the zombies find them. Destiel, angst.**

 **A/N: This is my first fic for this account. It is a one shot but depending on how popular it is I may write a second one. Possibly make it into a series. Please tell me what you think about it.**

Dean and Castiel walked through the ruins of of the city. It had been years since this place had been fully functioning. The street was littered with trash, broken down cars, the rubble from buildings and the occasional decaying body. The day was cold but the sky's clear. It was only a simple scavenge mission. The two of them had left base camp to see if they could collect more supplies for the rest of the group. They'd chosen the route that would help them avoid any encounters with zombies. They were equipped with large guns and looting bags. The tough material of their jackets protected them from bites in most situations. As for the cloth wrapped around the lower half of their face? That was for the stench.

Their heads snapped to the left as the roof of a building collapsed in on itself. It was an old building that hadn't been looked after in a long time, it wasn't unusual for it to implode. It did make a big problem for the two of them. The zombies would be attracted to the sound.

"We're going back." Dean mumbled and turned towards the direction which they came, Castiel followed after him. They'd only taken a few steps when the zombies started to appear behind them. Their decaying forms were moving slowly towards them, but they weren't the problem. The zombies who were now coming to block their way forward were of the greatest concern.

"Run?" Castiel asked quietly, eyeing the zombies coming out of the buildings in front of them.

"Run." Dean replied.

They immediately broke into a sprint, passing the zombies before their path could be blocked. But more appeared. They picked up the speed, their boots slapping the concrete in fast rhythm. The groans from zombies seemed to grow increasingly loud as they headed towards the car. Castiel hefted up his gun, aiming and shooting a zombie in front of them. Had he not shot it, the thing could have been a problem considering it was right in their path. The amount of shots they had to take was steadily growing as more and more zombies began blocking their way.

"Nearly there!" Dean exclaimed.

Three of the dead had congregated around the ute but both of their guns were busy on other zombies. Dean just shoved one of them out the way so he could get in the drivers seat. Castiel hit the one grabbing at him with the handle of his gun and got in, ripping his arm out of the grip of another zombie. Dean stepped down on the accelerator and they speed off, taking a few of the dead with them. It wasn't long before they were out of the city and speeding down the road in the large ute. In all the rush of fighting back the dead and running for their lives Castiel didn't notice that he had been bitten just above his wrist. He only noticed now, with the blood trickling into his palm. His eyes flickered over to Dean beside him to see if he was watching, he wasn't. He placed his gun down on the seat next to him and pulling up his army green coloured sleeve to see the deep bite mark on his lower forearm. He took a deep, shaky breath, bowing his head and resting his chin on his chest.

"Dean I think I need to stay behind." Castiel said quietly. Dean froze at Castiel's words, frowning, he turned to glacé at him.

"What? What are you talking about?" Dean snapped. How could he even think about staying behind? Was he trying to be some sort of useless hero or something? Why would he want to throw away his life by staying? The questions in his head were answered when his eyes dropped to the wound on Castiel's forearm. His eyes widened and it felt like his heart was shattering.

"Oh my god." He whispered, shaking his head. "No. No, it's not… It's not what it looks like. It's just… You just got caught on some glass or something. It's not.. It's not a bite." He rambled, sounding frantic. He was desperate to believe that it wasn't a bite, he hoped to God that he was right, but they both knew he was wrong. Castiel swallowed heavily, shaking his head and avoiding Dean's eyes.

"It's a bite. In a few minutes I'll be one of them. As of now I'm a waste of resources and space." Castiel said flatly. He managed to keep his voice devoid of emotion but he was breaking down inside.

"I'm as good as dead. I'm sorry, I guess I wasn't fast enough." Castiel muttered, looking at Dean now. He supposed this was the end for him now. Dying on a scavenge mission. He never would have thought. They both knew what had happened the last time someone ignored a bite mark. It had been a disaster, they'd suffered great losses. Castiel was determined not to do that to his family and friends.

Dean pulled the car over, there weren't any dead out here that they had to worry about. He could feel himself shaking with fear as he tried to think about what to do. He didn't think he could leave Castiel behind with all the zombies, even if he'd turn into one himself. He just couldn't do it. But he couldn't kill him either. He bit down hard on his lip, slamming his fists into the wheel.

"Fuck!" He screamed, causing Castiel to jump. Dean didn't often yell.

"No! No, Cas. This is not happening." He insisted, taking a kit from under his seat he pulled out a bandage and started wrapping it around the bite. After he'd done that he cupped his cheeks to make their eyes meet. Dean's scared green eyes looked into Castiel's shocked blue ones.

"Just sit tight. We'll figure something out. It's fine. Everything's fine. Just… Don't tell anyone okay?" He whispered to him. "I'm not letting you go today. Not now, not ever." He promised. Castiel's face visibly paled at his words. He couldn't believe Dean was going to put everyone in danger, what was he thinking?

"Be reasonable. Don't do this to yourself, to everyone else. I'm dangerous now." Castiel's brow frowned. He balled his shaking hands into fists. He was determined not to put anyone in danger.

They both knew what would come. The first stage of turning into one of them was feeling cold. Then there was the hunger. Both feelings of cold and hunger would build over the course of a few minutes until the host died and turned into a zombie. Castiel couldn't tell if it was already happening or if his mind was just playing tricks on him but he could really go for a burger around about now. The blue eyed man wrapped his jacket tighter around himself. If he had been in his right mind and not panicking he would have seen that automatic action as a sign that he was feeling scared and vulnerable. But all he could think of was how he must have been feeling colder, and that he was turning into one of them.

"I am being reasonable." Dean replied, shaking his head. "I'm keeping you safe. I'll chain you up if I have to. I'll do anything but let you go." He whispered, he could feel his eyes watering, making his vision go hazy.

"If you're going to restrain me do it now! I'm not letting you take any chances when your life is at stake." Castiel exclaimed, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt him. Dean sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes and pulling Castiel in for a hug which was tentatively returned.

"I'm so sorry I let this happen. I'm so sorry. This is my fault." Dean said into his neck. "I should have taken better care of you. Please, please just hold on okay? I'm gonna keep you safe." He murmured, kissing Castiel's cheek before pulling away and trying to find his handcuffs. He eventually found them and got out of the car. He walked over to the nearest tree with a thin trunk, Castiel following behind. Castiel sat at the base of the tree, crosslegged and put his hands behind him so Dean could cuff him around the tree. Before Dean tied a piece of cloth around his face to cover his mouth, he planted a soft kiss on Castiel's lips. He wouldn't be able to bite anyone but he could still talk now.

"I'm so sorry. I'll stay will you." Dean promised as he sat down in front of Castiel, tears finally spilling down his cheeks. Castiel's own eyes were tearing up. He shook his head at Dean trying to blame himself. He knew Dean already blamed himself for the deaths of so many others. He knew it was useless to argue against him on that subject though.

"Thank you." Castiel whispered, closing his eyes for a short moment, opening again when Dean spoke.

"How are you feeling? Are you… Are you getting any symptoms?" Dean asked. He didn't know what he would do without Castiel. Already he was falling apart. Dean couldn't carry on without him and he knew it. Castiel didn't answer, only looked down at the ground. It was too early to tell whether it was the symptoms of his mind playing tricks. After a moment of silence he spoke.

"You know I always loved you." Castiel's voice was muffled by the gag but still easy to understand. Tears rolled slowly down his face, dampening the cloth. Dean wiped his eyes as he bit his lip. He smiled slightly at Castiel's words, nodding.

"I know. You suck at hiding it. I love you too. So much, Cas. I'll always love you." He told him as he wiped away Castiel's tears gently, sniffling slightly. Castiel smiled softly.

"I'm sorry. Will you forgive me? You don't have to. I'm just… Just know that I'm so fucking sorry." Dean told him, ducking his head.

"Dean I always forgive you." Castiel started, those simple few words made Dean very relieved. "You don't deserve blame. You're a good man, the best. Please, just forgive yourself." Castiel knew it was unlikely but it was worth a try. Dean would tear himself apart of he let himself go that far.

It was just waiting for the inevitable now. They didn't know when it would happen. Castiel didn't want to turn. He wanted to stay with Dean. It was a stupid hope, it wouldn't happen. Instead he'd turn into the very thing they fought against. This world was cruel, it wasn't good enough for Dean, he deserved so much more.

"I could never forgive myself for this. I let this happen. What kind of a good man lets the person he loves get turned into a zombie?" They both flinched at the word. More tears streamed down Dean's face. They both knew that it was likely Dean would beat himself up about this until the day he died. Castiel didn't know what to say. He could only wish for Dean to show himself mercy.

"I'm not going anywhere, Cas. I'm gonna stay right here until the end, okay? I'm staying right beside you." Dean told him, running his fingers through Castiel's already messy hair and kissed his forehead. Castiel leaned into Dean's touch and let his eyes flutter closed.

"Don't remember me as what I'll become. That won't be me. Whatever you do don't remember me as one of those things." Castiel said as more tears spilled from his eyes. He'd told Dean before about his brother. How the only memory of him he could recall of his brother was him advancing on him, eyes blood-shot, snarling and face as pale as death. The memory of shooting him in the head before he could bite him. He'd forgotten what his brothers face looked like before then. Castiel knew he'd loved him but that was the only memory left. Dean shook his head.

"I won't. I'll remember you like before. Laughing, blue eyes bright and shining. Your hair always messy. But you always made it work." He joked pathetically, smiling sadly. "God, I love you so much Cas. Please don't leave me. I don't know what I'm going to do all by myself." He whimpered, closing his eyes to try and stop the tears, but it really wasn't helping.

"I'm sorry." He kept repeating, shaking his head and hugging Castiel tight. Castiel rested his chin on Dean's shoulder, unable to return the hug because of the handcuffs binding him.

"It's going to be okay Dean." Castiel said softly. His own voice scared him. It was the voice of someone who'd accepted death. He was scared, yes and he didn't want to go but he was accepting that he was going to die. His voice was so calm, so serene.

"It's not going to be okay. I'm gonna crash and burn without you keeping me in check, Cas." He cried. He squeezed his eyes shut, letting a small broken sob escape his lips. He held onto Castiel tightly as though his life depended on it.

"I love you Dean." Castiel said again.

"I love you too. I'll always love you. I'll take care of you. I promise." Dean whispered, pressing soft kisses over his face.

"Take care of yourself, please." Castiel begged, he stretched out the last word,emphasising it. "I need to know you'll be okay when I'm gone." His voice still held that ghost-like calm. It also had an urgent edge to it now that Dean's health was concerned.

"Please don't let yourself fall apart. I want you to live." His voice had lowered to Dean's volume. He couldn't help but wonder when he'd turn. It would be soon right? He couldn't have that much time left.

"I don't know if I can." Dean's hold on Castiel tightened as if he could prevent him from dying and turning into a zombie by keeping him there.

"Please try your best for me." Castiel buried his face into Dean's neck, feeling his warmth on his skin.

"I'll try, I promise. For you." Dean breathed deeply, having trouble accepting that Castiel would be gone soon.

They stayed in the embrace for a long time. Dean wanting to savour being able to feel Castiel's warmth and his pulse. He wanted to remember the way a faint smell of honey lingered around him and his skin that was scared with marks of battle. He didn't want to forget his bright blue eyes, ones that shone like the ocean and raven black hair that was always messy but Castiel made it work. He would never forget how he loved him, his awkward, strong, loyal and perfect Castiel. He was his angel. Dean didn't know what he'd do without him, he'd be lost.

"Dean…..shouldn't I have-" Castiel's voice broke. He blinked tears from his eyes and gathered himself together. "Shouldn't I have changed by now?" He said, voice barely more then a whisper. "I should have changed by now."

"I don't want to think about it." Dean said honestly.

"No, I should have changed by now. It's been too long. I'm not cold or hungry. Dean-" Castiel pulled back trying to look in his eyes. Dean's hug loosened and he let him pull away, his arms rested, still wrapped around him.

"What are you saying?" Dean didn't want false hope. He didn't let himself believe that Castiel would be alright if it was false hope.

"I'm okay." Castiel could barely believe it himself. It couldn't be true, he was never this lucky. Dean's hands fumbled with the gag in his mouth, taking it out. His eyes were wide in disbelief, Castiel's word on that was all he needed to believe it. He placed his hands on the sides of Castiel's face, his skin was warm. His thumb rubbed over his cheek, grazing just below his eye. Green eyes stared into blue ones.

"You're okay." Dean whispered his observation in awe. A grin grew on his face, one that was quickly mirrored by Castiel. Dean leaned in and crashed their lips together, eyes shut tight. The contact of Castiel's lips on his assured him that this was really happening. He was okay and fully human. His mouth was warm, that meant he hadn't developed the symptoms, he wasn't going to turn. Their mouths fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, the kiss full of relief.

When their lips parted Dean lingered for a moment, bottom lip barely touching Castiel's lip. His eyes fluttered open to look at Castiel who's eyes opened a moment later. The green-eyed man got up from where he sat and went around to the back of the tree to untie him.

"I'm immune to the virus. How?" Castiel questioned, sounding dazed. Dean finished untying him walked back around and stood in front of him.

"For now, I don't care." Dean smiled as he offered him a hand to help him up. Castiel grabbed his hand and he was pulled to his feet. "Let's get back to camp." He put his arm over his shoulders and lead him back to the car. "We're going to be fine." Dean added, speaking mostly to himself.

Suddenly the sky was brighter, the trees were greener and the air was clearer. He could see hope in their future.

 **A/N: Don't forget to tell me what you think. Depending on the feedback I may keep writing. Obviously I won't if there aren't any readers.**


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